Life Lessons with Lois
Although born and raised in a generation when women were expected to fulfill the role of wife and mother, Lois Blackwell Witherspoon rose above the conventional stereotypes and forged a new path. Her sage wisdom is an invaluable tool for young and old alike and it is through her stories, memories, and the application of such, that some of life’s greatest lessons involving intercultural communication are presented. We can improve intercultural communication by seeking to understand and appreciate the valuable insights, of those who differ from us, thereby exercising curiosity about individuals in terms of generation, subgroups, experiences, and viewpoints on subjects which include childhood, the influence of news media, language, family life, work, gender, government, technology, and continued communications across cultures.
Lois is an extraordinary woman whose insights on life stem directly from her childhood during The Great Depression, World War II, and rearing at the hands of her loving, but strict Christian grandparents. In addition to being a widow, she has been divorced twice. Furthermore, Lois is a professional organist who developed a famed system of instruction, and is a published author. Currently, she travels around her home in Phoenix to give organ lessons, attend a grief group, and counsels other widowed seniors. Two days after this interview, Lois became a member of another subgroup as she lost her only child, to Parkinson’s disease. Therefore, she is now part of the subgroup of parents who have outlived their adult children. Her other subgroups are: Caucasian ethnicity, strict Christian upbringing, Depression Era, divorcee, widow, author, organist, organ instructor, and senior grief counselor.
Lois’ earliest childhood memory is indicative of the simpler times of 1932. She recalls being about four years old and experiencing panic at not knowing the whereabouts of her brother who, unbeknownst to Lois, was attending his first day of Kindergarten. The modern day communication and approach to schooling and preparing children is quite different than in her time. Dockett, Perry, and Kearney (2012) argue, “One of the major aspects of continuity resides within the family. The contexts across which children and parents move and interact change as children start school, and families can provide a source of continuity for them” (p.10). As was the norm in 1930’s households, Brooks and Lois had never been separated. There was no such thing as pre-school in those days and her grandparents did not realize she had no concept of Kindergarten. She simply remembers sitting frantically on the old wooden porch as her grandmother hung laundry on the line, worrying about her brother. She describes the emotions she felt upon seeing him round the corner to their home and states, “I cried and screamed, and ran to greet him. So my first remembrance was of sadness and extreme joy. It is as vivid as if it as yesterday.” She recalls very little else of that year.
Unlike many of the youth today, Lois and her peers were quite unaware of fashion as an indicator of status. Asquith (2014) argues, “…manufacturers and retailers had a perspectival shift during the 1920s and 1930s, seeing the consumer landscape through the eyes of children who could be active and demanding consumers” (p.2). However, these attempts at early consumerism did not permeate the everyday lives of Lois and her friends. Her aunt, who also lived with the family, was a writer for the society page at the local newspaper. This measure of success provided extra means and the availability of retail clothing during the difficult times of the Depression era. Lois remembers, “I never thought of my clothes as nicer....just the opposite. I didn't fit it when I wore some store bought dresses.” Additionally, she notes that while she and her friends wore homemade items, “Many of the girls had flour sack dresses...that is how bad times were. I did NOT realize they were poor.” Lois recounts her embarrassment at being the only child to carry an umbrella and wear galoshes when it rained, and recounts the following, “I didn't realize it was a privilege to own them. I hid out until all the children left, to go home.”
At the age of 88, Lois has witnessed tremendous changes in society and experienced events which changed and shaped the perceptions of individuals across the globe. Intercultural communication was vastly different for an American child growing up in the 30’s and 40’s. Her exposure to those who differed in ethnicity was quite limited, but did not produce negativity toward different cultures. However, her cultural identity was formed in a relatively homogenous and sheltered fashion. Jandt (2013) asserts that identity is, “…the identification with and perceived acceptance into a group that has a shared system of symbols and meanings as well as norms for conduct” (p. 7). For example Lois states, “There were very few Hispanics, and maybe a half a dozen blacks, and whites were the dominant culture.” Although she was raised to appreciate other ethnicities, she was also keenly aware that different races lived in separate communities and distinct areas of town. Thus, the influences and thoughts she formed about other cultures were based on those learned at home and there was little to no influence from exposure to media.
World War II provided Lois with some of her first tangible exposure to media as reels of the war were played before movies and updates could be heard on radio programs. She is quick to point out that, “The war was way over, somewhere else.” Alexander, et al. (2014) argued, “As modernization and globalization advance all over the world, the nations and people are becoming more “intercultural, and communication between people becomes more intercultural, involving people of different cultures” (p. 16). Still, contact with those outside of her immediate circle was quite limited. She notes that this was a time when people were generally kinder, gentler, and more modest. Further, as those in the media exercised greater prudence and morality, crude language was never used on radio or television.
The war brought many changes such as interaction with other subgroups. Those serving in the military were now integrating with individuals from different backgrounds, experiences, and ethnicities. Alexander et al. (2014) found that “Intercultural communication in general is what happens when people from different cultural backgrounds interact it includes the good, the bad, and the ugly” (p. 15). Although the circumstances involved war, individuals were inadvertently learning about new ideas and norms. Whereas, women had previously contributed to the subsistence of the family by gardening, they now held jobs outside of the home, thus enlarging the circle of influence and increasing expendable income. It was at this time that Lois recalls seeing the first proliferation of grocery store chains and supermarkets dotting the landscapes of suburbia. In her view, the most notable change to the American culture came as a result of the automobile.
Arguably, the automobile made travel to other regions much easier and unlike the previous eras in which the public relied upon mass transit or walking, most families in the 60’s owned two vehicles. In her view, Lois cites this as a transformative moment in American culture and communication. Allen, O’Mara, & Long, (2014) cite a 1979 study by Berger which found “Communicative processes involved in knowledge generation and the development of understanding are central to the development and disintegration of most interpersonal relationships” (p. 75). Specifically, Lois notes the shock waves which rippled through the American middle class as “Woodstock” and the counter-culture movement took hold and influenced the younger generations. She remembers, “Instead of everyone being home for dinner, kids got rebellious, got jobs, made money, got independent, bought cars, and left home. Cars made a huge difference.” This was the fracturing of traditional family life and the beginnings of new subgroups, argots, and shared nonverbals, such as “hippie clothing.”
Although turbulent, important changes occurred during the 60’s. Groups which had previously been segregated due to logistical barriers and lack of opportunity were now gaining acceptance and earning a larger place in society. Jandt (2013) writes, “The status of women is dependent on a culture’s values” (p. 261). The values regarding these groups began to change and opportunities expanded. Although, Lois identifies white males as having been the top wage earners, she is surprised that women and other ethnicities achieved such a great degree of success in such a relatively short period of time.
Along with the changes concerning women and race relations, came vast differences in government and politics. In her estimation, Lois asserts that the politicians and government officials of today have lost the respect and honor of the American public, through behavior more befitting a celebrity rather than an elected official. A similar sentiment is expressed by Hes, Koubova’, & Chlumska’ (2015) when they state, “Possible reasons for human values and moral degradation may lie in the economic crises and changes in the political situation in a majority of countries since the beginning of the 20th century to the present” (p. 20). As politicians clamor for public attention and adoration, words are parsed and meaningful dialogue is lost, leading to apathy amongst the general public.
When asked about her recommendations for improving intercultural communications, Lois responded by stating, “I am aware of the traditions that will never go away, no matter who we are. It will be a forever problem.” In other words, there are distinct differences brought about by cultural influence and experience which will always affect how individuals view and react with one another. Similarly, Alexander et al. found that, “If we cast away all forms of social relations, as a result of deconstructing every collective identity, we will find ourselves merely as atomistic individuals” (p. 16). Additionally, Jandt (2013) states, “To recognize that other peoples can see the world differently is one thing. To view their interpretations as less perfect that ours is another” (p. 5). It is imperative to realize the value of differences and embrace the knowledge gained from other perspectives. These perspectives are no longer constrained by the ability to travel in the traditional sense, but can be accessed virtually with the advent of technology.
Technological innovation has given individuals new avenues by which they can communicate and transcend previous barriers. Shuter (2012) argues, “Intercultural new media studies promises to expand our understanding of intercultural communication in a new media age and is, truly, the next frontier in intercultural communication” (p. 233). Society can now access information, via the internet on cultural norms, traditions, language, and host of other important factors which can provide the reader with important information and improve communication with different groups. Indeed, Lois is an eager participant in the platforms of communication which technology has provided. She has a Facebook following in excess of 700 individuals. Her followers transcend age, race, economic, and geographical boundaries. Truly, technological advancements have allowed Lois to continue to expand her intercultural communications by sharing and interacting with her followers.
Indeed, effective intercultural communication must include a willingness to understand those who differ in cultural values and an appreciation of diversity. There are valuable lessons to be learned considering the experiences and backgrounds different from our own. Certainly, intercultural communication can only be effective when the parties involved are motivated by a sincere desire to educate themselves and embrace the differences which contribute to others values, norms, and cultures and when viewed from experiences with issues such as families, work, governmental and media influence, and the impact of technology.
References
Alexander, B. K., Arasaratnam, L. A., Avant-Mier, R., Durham, A., Flores, L., Leeds-Hurwitz, W., & ... Halualani, R. (2014). Defining and communicating what “intercultural” and “intercultural communication” means to us. Journal Of International & Intercultural Communication, 7(1), 14-37. doi:10.1080/17513057.2014.869524
Allen, J. L., O'Mara, J., & Long, K. M. (2014). The Influence of communication traits and culture on perceptions of distance in intracultural and intercultural relationships in the United States. China Media Research, 10(1), 72-88.
Asquith, K. (2014). Join the club: Food advertising, 1930s children's popular culture, and brand socialization. Popular Communication, 12(1), 17-31. doi:10.1080/15405702.2013.869334
Dockett, S., Perry, B., & Kearney, E. (2012). Family transitions as children start school. Family Matters, (90), 57.
Hes, A., Koubova’, M., & Chlumska’, T. (2015). Changes in value structures and the importance of intercultural communication in modern society. Communication Today, 6(1), 16-23.
Jandt, F.E. (2013). An introduction to intercultural communication: Identities in a global community (7th ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Shuter, R. (2012). Intercultural new media studies: The next frontier in intercultural communication. Journal Of Intercultural Communication Research, 41(3), 219-237. doi:10.1080/17475759.2012.728761
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