OK, so my situation wasn't QUITE this bad, but.. Read on and find out what happened at Michael Jordan's Restaurant in Chicago.
This is going to be the perfect job. This is going to be the perfect relationship. At one time or another most people have found themselves imagining that their current situation would live up to the greatest idealistic dreams of utopia, only to repeatedly discover that no matter what location, circumstance, or parties involved this dream is unsustainable. Whether it is personal differences, past experiences, or misperceptions, conflict is a part of our interaction with others. While conflict with others is inevitable, it does not always have to be destructive, and positive changes can occur as demonstrated by using the five stages of a constructive conflict which are prelude, triggering event, initiation, differentiation, and resolution.
Prelude. I was a manager at Michael Jordan’s Restaurant in Chicago during the Bull’s fourth championship series. As usual the place was a flurry of activity and tensions were running high. A somewhat awkward and clumsy waiter dumped and entire tray of condiments right in the middle of the busy kitchen, creating a slippery and dangerous area. Rather than offering assistance, the kitchen manager and his staff stood and laughed, refusing to help.
Trigger. I proceeded to help and as the supervisor on duty, I then ordered the kitchen manager to help as well. He refused and the matter quickly escalated into a rather heated exchange. We began yelling at one another and nothing was solved, except that the waiter and I ended up taking care of the mess ourselves and now a palpable tension had been created between the kitchen manager and me.
Differentiation. Within a few days the kitchen manager and I were called into a collective meeting with each of our bosses, who were the General Manager and the Sous Chef, respectively. We both stated what we believed had occurred that day and how we perceived it should have been handled. When discussing conflict in leadership, Shetach stated, “When two parties are communicating and a conflict occurs, as long as both sides continue to concentrate on the issue, they are headed toward a satisfactory solution” (Shetach, 2012, p.26). While my boss remained neutral, the Sous Chef responded to me by saying, “Everyone knows you’re just a bitch and that you have no respect for the kitchen staff!” When I heard this I was absolutely flabbergasted. I knew I could be tough, but I was stunned to think that this was how I was perceived, because it was certainly not my intention. When I regained my composure, I then expressed how completely incorrect she was in assuming that I had no respect for the kitchen staff and told her how often I would brag about the excellence and expertise of this segment of our staff. While she was unmoved by my assurances, my words did seem to resonate with both the General Manager and Kitchen Manager.
Resolution. This conflict had a very positive resolution. As argued by Aula and Siira, “Individual level conflict interaction is crucial because it ultimately changes the whole social environment” (Aula & Siira, 2010, p.126). I offered my sincere apologies for what I came to realize had been an over-reaction on my part and pledged to discuss any future differences in private and away from the staff. In turn the kitchen manager saw how distressed I was about my actions and that I did respect him and his staff. After this event, we had many long and fruitful discussions, became good friends, and gained mutual respect for one another. The Sous Chef was fired a few months later, because she couldn’t get along with most of the staff.
Although, conflict is generally unpleasant, when handled effectively, positive resolutions can be achieved. Whether personal or professional, successful communication in such situations can uncover many negative undertones and breathe new life into stagnate climates. An examination of the five stages in a constructive conflict process illustrates how methods and strategies can provide greater clarity and meaning to those involved in challenging interactions.
References
Aula, P., & Siira, K. (2010). Organizational Communication and Conflict Management Systems: A Social Complexity Approach. NORDICOM Review, 31(1), 125-141.
Shetach, A. (2012). Conflict Leadership. Journal For Quality & Participation, 35(2), 25.
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